J's 1st day at child care

My plan was to sent J to playgroup when he is 3 yrs old. But with M arriving soon and a new maid coming on board, I had to bring my plan forwards. At times, I wish I have more help with him eg staying nearer to my mum who is still fit and healthy to take care of him and share the workload with the maid.

After much research, the easiest option (but not the best) is to enrol him to YMCA Child Care that is just 1 block away.

I greeted the day with both anticipation and reluctance.

For the 1st time, J has to be woken up from his sleep so that he can be on time. I don't like it as no 2 years old should be deprive of his sleep.

After his routine of breakfast and bath, he changed into his brand new uniform. I can see that he is excited by the event as he proudly claimed that he wanted to "carry his new bag". Guess he still don't know what is going to happen and thinks that Mummy and Daddy are bringing him out for play.

Upon arriving at the centre, things arent so rosy for J anymore. It is a new environment for him and not to mention a noisy one too. He begun clinging onto me and refuse to join the other children. Despite much encouragement and coaxing, he refuse to leave his comfort zone i.e. Mummy's side and the unhappiness is beginning to show on his face. Seeing his unhappiness makes me hate this decision even more.

It is made worse when a little girl who is in K1 or K2 came to me and said "He is a baby" while pointing at J. How agonizing was her remarks to me. That was the final straw and I felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks. But I can't let J see my distress and quickly wiped them away.

As it was getting too hard to bear, I had to escape the place and left my helper to spend the rest of the day with him only returning to pick him at after his lunch. I hope the 2nd day will be much easier.

God, pls give me strength and courage.