A day of celebrations

There are 2 reason for celebration today - Gretel's wedding and Baby A's 1st month.

J had to be dragged out of his sleep so that we can reach my 1st uncle's house to witness G being married off. G is the youngest daughter of my 1st uncle and whom I considered to be the baby of the family. I was still in primary school when my aunt conceived her and I had the privilege of naming her together with her 2 elder sisters. As all both the sister's name started with G, so we named her "Gretel" after the fairy tale"Hansel and Gretel". I think at that age, we don't even know if "Gretel" was a real name but I am glad we named her that instead of "Goldilocks".

After the wedding, we had to rush to Baby A's 1st month celebration. It was also a good opportunity for J to catch up with E's sons, C and R.

The boys had so much fund playing together that E and I promise to arrange for another playdate for them and very soon, M and A will be able to join in!

Yummy yummy

Gave M his 1st biscuit today. We thought he will just play with it so we just left him to himself in the walker.

Abt 2 minutes later, we checked on him but we can't find the biscuit. We searched all over for it thinking that he has dropped it somewhere and it will invite the roaches if it is not cleaned up. However, we can't find it and when we take a closer look at M, we found some biscuit crumbs on his mouth. Unconvinced that he has eaten the biscuit, we gave him another piece.

We couldn't believe our eyes when he just chomp it down in just a few mouthful!

M is getting 2 dozens of baby biscuits from me for Christmas!

Longkang fishing

"Longkang" means "drain" in Malay. "Longkang fishing" is one of the activities you would have participated in if you have lived in a "kumpung" (village) in the good old days i.e. before high-rise flats came along. Just gather a few friends and go to a nearby longkang and simply start catching the fishes until you hear yr mum yelling for you to go home for dinner.

In modern day Singapore, this experience has to be created and you have to pay S$10 for it. You can catch as many fishes as you like but you can only bring home 5 of it. Welcome to "Bottle Tree Park" - Modern day kumpung.

If you think it is easy to catch these tiny fishes with a small net, you are wrong. It is both frustrating and back-breaking while these tiny creatures escape your every scoup with such ease and grace. In the good old day, you catch with your bare hands. After 45 minutes, I finally managed to reach my quota of 5 fishes for J to bring home. We will return again but the next time, K who is a true-blue kampung boy can go fishing with J (I am just a weekend kumpung girl who visits my grandparents every Sunday in their kumpung house)

I took his hand and followed

My dishes went unwashed today,
I didn't make the bed,
I took his hand and followed
Where his eager footsteps led.

Oh yes, we went adventuring,
My little son and I...
Exploring all the great outdoors
Beneath the summer sky

We waded in a crystal stream,
We wandered through a wood...
My kitchen wasn't swept today
But life was gay and good.

We found a cool, sun-dappled glade
And now my small son knows
How Mother Bunny hides her nest,
Where jack-in-the-pulpit grows.

We watched a robin feed her young,
We climbed a sunlit hill...
Saw cloud-sheep scamper through the sky,
We plucked a daffodil.

That my house was neglected,
That I didn't brush the stairs,
In twenty years, no one on earth
Will know, or even care.

But that I've helped my little boy
To noble manhood grow,
In twenty years, the whole wide world
May look and see and know.

There is no crystal stream or sun-dappled glade in our neighborhood. However, we do have a sun-lit hill and woods aplenty. Also, the public pool is also just 5 minutes away. That is where J's little hand took me today.

Somehow, on every Monday morning, J would seem more resistant towards me having to work. When I walked into my SOHO to start up my notebook, he would drag me out and say “I don’t want Mummy to work” Whenever he says that, I do wish that I don’t have to work and can spend my days playing with him and teaching him basic life skills as well as academically.

On impromptu, I decide to take the boys for a quick swim after lunch. It will be M’s 1st dip into the pool. However, the weather looks threatening. On the way, we passed by a small pathway and mimosa pudica fills the side. I have always been intrigued by this plant as it will close its leaves when touched. I pointed out this plant to J and encourage him to touch it.

When we reach the pool, we jump into it quickly as the dark clouds are coming in. I carried M and dip his toes into the water and submerge him slowly as the water is cold. Soon he is frolicking in the water but I did not let him stay for long as it has gotten quite windy. I send my maid and him off home while J and I stayed for a while more.
When we reached home, it started pouring. I wish we could have stayed a while longer as it is afterall M’s 1st swim. I promise to return on a sunny day.

2nd letter to M

Dear M,

Once again, you are fast asleep in your cot. I just brought you into our room at 11pm after your older brother has fallen asleep.

This is our nightly routine:
After washing up, you will have your milk and fall asleep (but you have not been drinking much these few days; could be due to teething. I hope there is nothing wrong with mummy’s’ milk). After yr bro has fallen asleep, I will go over to the home office to bring you back to your cot in our room.

At 2am, you will wail for your milk. I will make a mad rush to the kitchen to fix up a bottle of formula and rush back to the room before you wake your brother up. But it is too late; he is already stirring and calling out for me. Nowadays, I make your dad do the 1m dash so that I can stay by the both of you.

After your dad returns to the room, I would plonk you onto the pillow so that I can hold the bottle with my left hand while I pat your bro to sleep with my right. If all goes well, you will continue to drink while half asleep and filtering out your bro’s constant demands of “Mummy, pat pat!” If unfortunately you are awoken by it, your Dad would try to pat your bro while I scoop you up in my arms and try to lull you to sleep. However, your Dad is seldom successful in patting yr bro as he does not know the “sweet spot” that the hand should land. However, I would say that your dad is pretty good at lulling you to sleep.

If you did not survive this frenzy, you would be wide awake with a half-consumed bottle of milk. Your dad would then bring you back to the home office to sleep with kaka who will also complete the feeding.

If both your bro and you manage to settle back to sleep, then the next session would begin at 4am when your bro stir and start talking loudly in his sleep. Most of the time, it would be “I don’t like this!” or “I want to go outside!” I would quickly pacify him to sleep by patting him and desperately hoping that he will not wake you up. Again, if we manage to survive this, you get to stay in your room till 6.30am when kaka will bring you back to the home office as your bro will start tossing and whining at 7am till the time he wakes up. Pls pardon him as he has been doing this since he was a baby.

M, I wish that I can be the one whom you go to sleep with and the first one you see when you wake up. I wish to co-bed with you so that you can feel my body warmth. (I know I am going to regret this down the road as it is a hard habit to kick when you grow older). Most importantly, I wish that you will not feel that you are a 2nd class citizen, having to be transported in and out of your room every night and in the morning. You are in no way of lesser importance than your bro except that he arrived 2 yrs earlier than you and we don’t have any spare room to set up your nursery.

If I could, your nursery will be the prettiest in the whole world because it is decorated with love by your parents.

I always ask your bro “You know Mummy loves you, right?” He always answer “Yes”

I can’t wait to ask you the same question and know that I will hear the same reply.

Baby M, you are my special gift from God and I love you so.

xxxooo,
Mummy

No 3?

Many people have been asking/encouraging me to have a 3rd child because I have 2 boys and it would be good to have a girl.

I would have a 3rd one if all of the following conditions are met:
1. I can be a full-time homemaker while retaining my domestic helper - I need my domestic helper because I would rather spend the time with the children rather than over the housework.

2. My intention of having another child is simply for the sake of having another child; regardless of its sex – I still yearn to have a baby girl but that yearning is decreasing in opposite proportion to M’s cuteness. I look at M and I can feel a gush of love overflowing out of me.

3. Quality pre-schools/kindergardens/primary/secondary schools. – I have been searching for a reputable playgroup in my area but none exist in my estate. The better ones are in more centralized location and nearer to town. The primary school enrollment is a night-mare. Unless he goes to his dad’s alma mater which is just an ordinary neighborhood school, otherwise, for J, he is almost at the last phase of the intake. Again, most of such schools are located in the town area or expensive neighborhood.

4. Free education all the way to tertiary level - This takes up the bulk of the cost of raising a child.

5. Cheaper medical cost and insurance – There is a saying in Singapore that it is cheaper to die than to fall ill.

6. Full-time mother gets monetary compensation – Hey, someone has to pay for my manicure and pedicure, right? Now seriously, according to Reuters, a stay-home-mum is worth U$138,095 annually. I don’t mind that in Singapore Dollars. Heck! I even don’t mind that in Ringgit too.
_______________________________________________________
Stay-at-home mother's work worth $138,095 a year
Wed May 2, 2007 3:04pm EDT

NEW YORK (Reuters) - If the typical stay-at-home mother in the United States were paid for her work as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist among other roles, she would earn $138,095 a year, according to research released on Wednesday.

This reflected a 3 percent raise from last year's $134,121, according to Salary.com Inc, Waltham, Massachusetts-based compensation experts.

The 10 jobs listed as comprising a mother's work were housekeeper, cook, day care center teacher, laundry machine operator, van driver, facilities manager, janitor, computer operator, chief executive officer and psychologist, it said.

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, it said, working 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime.

A mother who holds full-time job outside the home would earn an additional $85,939 for the work she does at home, Salary.com.

Last year she would have earned $85,876 for her at-home work, it said.

Salary.com compiled the online responses of 26,000 stay-at-home mothers and 14,000 mothers who also work outside the home. __________________________________________________________

Oh what a day(s)!

It is the 1st of October and Children's Day is celebrated in many parts of the world. It is also Hari Raya in Singapore and Independence Day in Hong Kong.

As my helper had the day off, so it is Family Day for the Toh family too. We decide to make an impromptu visit to the new Terminal 3 at the Changi Airport. Somehow, I like going to the airport as it is spacious and has free air-conditioning. It also brings back good memories of overseas trip even if it is for work.

On the way, both J and M fell asleep in the car which is good as they would be fresh when they arrive at the airport.

When we arrived, we headed towards Swensen in time for afternoon tea. As it was Children's Day, J gets a free kids meal but all he wants was french fries. The kind waitress acceded to exchange the kid’s meal for fries instead. He also had a scoop of ice-cream but he was more interested in the fried wanton skin in the salad buffet which came along with the main meal that K and I shared. M just ate off the table and I mean it literally. He sat in the baby chair and sucked the edge of the table. When I was reading the menu, he grabs it from me and sucks the edge too. Halfway through the meal, he decides to drink his milk and fell asleep.

After tea-time, we walked around the viewing gallery but there aren’t many planes. The whole place is quite deserted if not for the students studying there. After so many years, student still like to make the airport their “study room”.

We walked around the departure hall and took some pixs before heading off. On the way to the carpark, M woke up from his nap and started crying loudly. J started comforting him by saying “It’s ok, it’s alright didi. Kor kor is here. Didi don’t cry.” On the journey home, J said to M “Didi, are you tired? Let’s go home, ok?”

For me, I survived the day without my helper and it is great because I get to take care of M myself; feeding him and slinging him close to me. I think we should more “maid-less” days so that we can truly have a family day.